It’s anarchy but refreshing

As Euro 2008 heads into its climactic phase, bloggers and message-boarders are in fine form, as Karthik Krishnaswamy finds out.

In a world of back pages saturated with ‘The important thing is winning; the goal was just a bonus’, and ‘The gaffer knows what’s best for the team, so I’m happy if I can make a difference coming off the bench’, the blogosphere provides a refreshing whiff of anarchy and political incorrectness. As Euro 2008 heads into its climactic phase, bloggers and message-boarders are in fine form.

Can there be

“I’ve been scouring the net and TV for England’s games in Euro 2008 but I can’t seem to find them? I can see Switzerland and Austria but I can’t see what group England are in! I want to see these great superstars like Wayne Rooney, Frank Lumpard (sic) and Stevie Gerrard sweep all before them like I’ve been hearing in the media.”

Previewing Portugal’s

“The best way to deflate an energetic, fiery underdog is to hit it with a swift stomach punch in the opening stages.” The Portuguese instead employ the novel tactic of having centre-back Pepe roam the length of the pitch and play one-twos with the forwards.

The French, on theA sample:“Romania-France highlights” are:A. Available onlineB. The ultimate cure.for insomnia.C. An oxymoron.D. All of the above.”Ruud van Nistelrooy

“Having read several threads congratulating Van Nostrilboy (sic) for standing up when he could have conned a penalty out of the referee I feel obliged to defend his reputation. If you watch the Slo-Mo carefully it is clear that his studs catch in the turf and throw him into an upright position.

You can see the look of surprise on his face as he touches the pitch with his finger-tips confirming he is the right way up. Van Nostrilboy has spent many years building his oops-a-daisy repertoire and would not deliberately damage his image in an international competition. Give the man a break...”

Meanwhile, Riccardo

“… Kind of hard to communicate with Matrix though. Guy still talks in grunts and snorts from the days of Homo Ergaster. Rumor has it the walls at his house in Milan are covered in cave drawings.”

Rob ParkerMike Cardillo

“When Villa’s strike found the netting, he went immediately toward Torres and hugged him like it was going out of style. Not to get too graphic, but they were writhing around on the wet turf, locked in each other’s embrace like a newborn South American monkey clinging to its mother in the tree canopy.” Imagine Mike’s marsupial metaphors should someone named Joey break into the Socceroos squad and score a goal or two. On second thought, don’t.

Having seen the Swiss

That requires a knife used to slitting throats in the bazaar.” He somehow fails to mention that the Swiss defence might, like their cheese, be full of holes.

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