Moises Henriques opens up about his battles with depression

The Australia all-rounder said he contemplated suicide during a first-class match.

Moises Henriques at a Sunrisers Hyderabad training session in Mohali in 2017.

Australia all-rounder Moises Henriques has opened up about his battles with depression that forced him to contemplate suicide during a first-class match. The 33-year-old was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2017.

“If you looked up the depression symptoms on Google , I was ticking off almost every single one of them and quite severely,” Henriques, who has played for many IPL teams including four-time winners Mumbai Indians, told ‘Ordineroli Speaking podcast.’

“I remember lying in bed wanting to [self-medicate] for a long time and considering all the different types of drugs that would be possible. At this stage, I was like who would I call? I wasn’t even thinking of recreational or party drugs. I was thinking where do I get these opioids and these things that are going to numb my brain to a point of not thinking where I’m not capable of thought.”

Henriques recalled how once he had thought of crashing his car while driving home from Bankstown midway through a Shield match against Tasmania. “I remember thinking to myself in the car, I’m doing 110 [kmph] on the highway thinking if I just turn this car into here, into the pillar or somewhere?,” he said.

“I didn’t want to create a crash, thinking if I just ran straight into this pole what would happen? What would be the consequence of what would happen there? I can’t do that, it’s not fair on my brothers, it’s not fair on Krista (his wife), it’s not fair on all these people that are there for me, I can’t leave my team with 10 men for the next two days. I ended up having to pull over because I was crying so heavily and I was shaking. I had to pull over, just took five minutes.”

Henriques last played international cricket in October, 2017.