At a ceremony to felicitate India’s gold medallists at the Chess Olympiad in New Delhi on Wednesday evening, Divya Deshmukh’s speech on her experience in the women’s team tournament was interrupted by a plaintive cry. The wail came from the daughter of women’s team captain Dronavali Harika.
Little Hanvika, who turned two just last month, was sitting with her grandmother Sudeshna who attempted to soothe her. When that failed, Harika, quickly got off the stage she shared with Deshmukh and the other members of the Indian men’s and women’s chess team that had just returned from Budapest, took the toddler in her arms and quietly stepped to the back of the room to comfort her.
Harika might have just led India to a historic first gold medal in the women’s team category of the International Chess Olympiad but for Hanvika, she will always be her mother.
“I think what happened here is we had a long day (The team had gone to meet the Indian Prime Minister just before the felicitation) and for her, it must be a new feeling. All her life she’s seen me as a mom. When I’m at home I’m always close to her. I’m always playing with her. It was something new for her to see me so far away on the stage. She just wanted me to acknowledge that I was still going to be there for her,” Harika says.
A cranky toddler might be just one of the many challenges Harika has had to deal with post-motherhood, although she admits it’s probably the same for most working mothers. “It’s definitely difficult. It’s not specifically about chess players. For any person who is taking up a career or even mothers who decide to be at home having given up a career, it takes a lot of energy and mental struggle. You don’t know if you are doing the right or wrong thing. I think every mother has their own journey,” she says.
In Harika’s case, this journey began before the 2022 Chess Olympiad. She was in the final month of her pregnancy with Hanvika while simultaneously competing with the Indian team in Chennai.
The build-up to that competition was hard. “When I heard about the Olympiad being held in India and when my doctor said that it’s possible to play if I stay healthy without any complications. My every single step had been dedicated to make it possible. No baby showers, no parties, no celebrations,” she posted on Instagram after she won a historic first-ever women’s team medal for India at that competition.
Things haven’t been easy even after Hanvika’s birth either. The rigours of international chess mean that very often she’d not be able to be around her daughter for long periods of time. “There were times I didn’t even speak with her for weeks. Because if you go and speak, maybe you will get emotional. So when I was seriously preparing for some competitions, I would just go for weeks without speaking to her,” says Harika, 33.
This was true for this edition of the Chess Olympiad too – Harika was away from her daughter for nearly three weeks, beginning from the last week of August until the 23rd of September. “I can’t travel with her for tournaments because she is so young. It’s too early for her to understand. It will be hard for her to understand and it will take a lot of energy from me as well. I’ll be worried all the time about her. Just like when she was crying and I was on the dias. My first thought was to go and take care of her. And I can’t do that when I am competing. It is a distraction. I think there will be a time when she is older and I can take her with me,” she says.
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The fact that Harika could focus on the chessboard in front of her in Budapest and not think of her daughter back home is thanks to the support of her family in Guntur. “I have my mom, grandma, my sister and my niece who always are there to take care of her (Hanvika). So with the support system, it’s easier to play. I was never worried when I was away from her because I knew that she was in much safer hands than me and no one could take care of her better than my parents, my grandmom or my sister. I think she has much more love and care from them,” she says.
While her older relatives pamper her, Hanvika herself is showing an inclination for the game. “Every time I meet her I try to teach her a little bit of chess. I bring the chess board to her and she knows all the pieces. As a mother, I am trying to inculcate an interest in sports in her. I can’t decide for her, but I would love it if she could choose any sport. Even if it’s success or failure, I think sport teaches you a lot about setbacks and how to handle failures. I think it will make you more mature at a very early age and disciplined,” she says.
Harika tries to balance her two roles as best as she can. Right before she travelled to Budapest with the Indian team for the Chess Olympiad, she made a point to celebrate her daughter’s birthday in Bali. “I wasn’t part of the Indian team originally but then the national coach (Abhijit Kunte) asked me if I wanted to be part of the team. At that point, I was already planning Hanvika’s birthday in Bali. I’m a perfectionist so I was very particular about how things had to be. It doesn’t sound like the most professional thing but I wasn’t able to prepare as well as I could have for the Olympiad because I had that family commitment to take care of. I was a little worried because I’m lucky I was able to hold on on court and do well for the team,” she says.
She did more than enough for the team, playing a critical role in the team’s eventual triumph – she played on board 1 for all but one of India’s matches and gave a winning start in the final tie against Azerbaijan which was a must-win encounter. Although she’s delighted at having accomplished a goal that she’d set for herself ever since she made her debut at the Chess Olympiad as a 13-year-old in 2004, Harika’s not sure whether she’s played her final team competition or not. “Immediately that same motivation isn’t there because what better way to finish your team career than by becoming the first-ever to win a team gold at the Chess Olympiad,” she says.
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It’s not that she will be leaving chess altogether though. She says she will still continue to play individual tournaments. And while motherhood will continue to force her to balance her commitments, she wouldn’t have it any other way. “For me, the reason I do this is because I just want to make my daughter proud. Chess is the one thing I learned in life. This is the only thing I know -- to play chess and to play for the country and win medals. I wish for her to grow up and see what her mother is doing also for her and to be proud of me and that’s what motivates me to somehow handle both career and motherhood,” she says
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