Sunil Chhetri’s phone has been buzzing non-stop for the last two days. “688 missed calls,” he says, prompting him to turn his device off. The Indian skipper has received much-deserved adulation over the last 24 hours since announcing that he will bring an end to his 19-year-long career.
His last game in India colours will be on June 6, still 20 days away. But he is keen for the focus to shift away from him and on to the crucial World Cup qualifier game against Kuwait at the Salt Lake Stadium. The Indian record goal-scorer spoke to the media virtually for over an hour to address the retirement, his emotions surrounding the final hurrah, his potential successor, his best moments in an India shirt and more.
There have been several highs from his 150 international caps, 94 goals and countless moments of joy but along the way, he has seen the lowest of lows, too. “Missing out on the Asian Cup qualification in 2015 still haunts me,” he recalls. “It was a dismal performance from me and the team against Myanmar. Even now when I talk about it, I feel a bit of anger on myself and all the players who played that game.”
As for his highs, he hopes his 151 st cap, his final bow against Kuwait, will hopefully top everything he has done in his career. A victory in front of a packed and vociferous home crowd at the Salt Lake will give India the best chance of qualifying for the third round of the qualifiers – a first of a kind for the Blue Tigers.
The 39-year-old feels he is at ‘peace’ with the decision after going through it over in his head post the disappointing results against Afghanistan in March. “Telling myself that decision [of retirement] was the hardest part,” he says, when he made the decision a month ago but postponed announcing it after he was hit with chicken pox.
“I was fighting within me. I was analysing stuff. I was trying to think more holistically,” he says, about the timing. “When the instinct came, it was so individual and so narrow, it was so selfish, if I can say that because I was only thinking about myself. But then I took my time and I was thinking about everything. It wasn’t easy and took some time. Now, I can say that I am at peace. I think I made the right decision.”
Chhetri, who has struggled for goals both club and country in recent months, was also wary of not being a passenger in the side and playing out the final days of his career not being able to contribute to the team’s cause.
He explained, “After the instinct, of course, I considered how I was feeling physically, what our next goal is, what is going to happen to our national team and what the matches are, all these things taken together, I came to the [retirement] decision. Internally, it is always of prime importance to bring value to the team. Sometimes it might happen…because of who I have become [standards set], that I felt I am still carried by the team, and that is something that I never wanted.
“The way you gauge it is in training, in terms of the numbers and what I bring to the table. It didn’t matter how many years but till I am here, I want to add some value. When you are at your prime and doing well, you add more value. When you are not doing well, you bring less value. But now I have come to a stage, where I really want to leave the national team and I know I am leaving it in a good place because there are so many players who will do well. And that was always something that I wanted and I am really happy that it is going to happen.”
Clarity over his call
There is also the matter of the game away at Qatar five days later, but Chhetri’s clarity over his final game meant the head coach Igor Stimac didn’t try convincing him otherwise.
“No [about the possibility of playing in Qatar], because when I went to him, he understood. He gives me and the players a lot of freedom to express ourselves. He knows how badly I want to play for my country. When he rightly subs me off at 70 minutes, when he can see better, he knows I am not happy. When he wants me to rest because of my age, and I don’t like it, he knows how badly I want to play. So, he understood when I said this would be my last game. Also, he was a player, so he understood. We had a very nice, short chat. He said let’s come together and make sure we win the game for the country on the sixth,” said Chhetri.
Nor did the thought of carrying on and achieving the 100-goal tally – a landmark achieved by only three other men in history – didn’t seem to influence his decision.
“When I started playing, I didn’t think I would score these many goals. I didn’t dream of scoring 100 goals. I don’t feel hollow [about not scoring 100 goals]. I am very fortunate to play 150 games, that’s the number I am very proud of, and playing for 19 years for the country is something which I is very unique. I am happy to score 94 goals for my country, not reaching 100 doesn’t bother me,” said Chhetri.
Post the Kuwait game, Chhetri is looking forward to going on a break before hitting the ground again in the pre-season in July with Bengaluru FC, where he has been the face of the club for the last 11 years.
“To not finish no. 9 [is his immediate goal with BFC]. Oh, we are hurting. Right from our boss to the ball boy, it has done tremendous damage to our health, mental health, our ego and everything. From day one, we will be at it in the pre-season. We finished ninth and it’s really hurt us. So the immediate target is to start from day one in pre-season,” said Chhetri, who will take a call on his BFC career after the next season.
But before that, he understands that there will be a sense of anticipation surrounding him and the national team in Kolkata next month. But much like how he is at peace with his decision, Chhetri is prepared to experience that one final wave of emotions coming his way on June 6.
“There will be a surge around the sixth [June] and then it will fade away. It’s alright, I had my time. I enjoyed it. I got more than what I had thought of. I had a great time. Everything moves on, life moves on to the next one,” he signed off.
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