Funny, but we are saying only a couple of days ago how grey Stuart MacGill looks round the temples and wondering how much longer he will continue. The next thing we know he announces his retirement, rings his mate Beau Casson to tell him the news and suggest he may take his place, writes Ted Corbett.
June 2: Tales from the Outback must be a suitable title for the adventures of those hardy souls who play cricket for England on tour in Australia 123 years ago. Eleven of them bear the brunt of all the work in the five Tests in 1884-5 — the only time England are unchanged in five successive Tests until this week. Their first adventure comes during a stopover in Egypt when the oarsmen taking them back to their ship decline to row any further until they receive an extra payment. George Ulyett, a Yorkshireman of course, throws one of the rowers into the sea and rows the boat himself, while giving the man — who swims alongside — his colourful opinion of such behaviour. Money is a frequent cause of dispute.
In Adelaide the townsfolk agree to pay the two Test teams £450 each but must reduce admission to a shilling to persuade 10,000 spectators to watch the second day’s play. The spectators cannot be too happy when a dust storm blocks their view, the fielders have to lie flat to avoid suffocation and are drenched the next day when rain floods the ground. Bobby Murdoch, the Australian captain, says that he will not play if either of the two England managers James Lillywhite and Alfred Shaw act as umpires so a local man — totally inexperienced — takes over and makes a series of atrocious decisions. William Barnes, the team’s best bowler, falls out with the touring captain Arthur Shrewsbury and refuses to bowl and Johnny ‘Boy’ Briggs hurts himself twice riding horses. Was it worthwhile? Each player makes £300 — 18 months to two years’ wages for a working man at the time — and, according to Alfred Shaw, it is the finest team ever sent by England to Australia.
June 3: A television programme tells the story of Hansie Cronje and the bookmakers but fails to solve the mystery of his death in a plane crash. Those of us who have conspiracy theories since the assassination of John Kennedy still regard the whole business as suspicious and we also have concerns about the way in which Bob Woolmer dies. The two cases must have a link. Woolmer is still a great admirer of Cronje right up to the time of his death and many of us — conspiracy theorists, of course — believe there is more to this tangled web than we are aware.
June 4: Funny, but we are saying only a couple of days ago how grey Stuart MacGill looks round the temples and wondering how much longer he will continue. The next thing we know he announces his retirement, rings his mate Beau Casson to tell him the news and suggest he may take his place. It all leaves the rest of the world wondering if the Australians will bring back Shane Warne. Casson is 25, plays 40 first class matches, averages 25 with the bat and gets 107 wickets at 40.36. Even at 38 Warne is a better bowler. Clearly MacGill thinks Casson is the answer.
June 5: A Test match may be the place one least expects to pick up household cleaning tips but this week we hear one from the days 40 years ago when Ken Higgs, now enjoying retirement at the seaside in Blackpool, is an England new ball bowler. Want to remove grass stains from trousers after a busy day in the field? Scrub the offending area with milk and the stains just disappear. What a shame Higgs, of Lancashire and Leicestershire, does not live in this more commercial era. He might earn a footballer’s fortune by advertising such helpful hints in century 21.
June 6: Errors abound during the Trent Bridge Test. An attempt to update the Cricket Writers Club honours board goes horribly wrong when the gold lettering expert misses his aim, takes out all the most esteemed people and replaces them with names from another age. Still, thanks to the goodwill of the Nottinghamshire club, where every other person seems to be saintly, the mistakes are put right and fears that one official will discover she is no longer among those holding a high place at the dinner table die away. Of course it is easy for a broadcaster to make a slip of the tongue which is exactly what Vic Marks does on Test Match Special. After spending a couple of hours watching James Anderson destroy the Kiwis, Victor goes: “There is no doubt about it. That is Atherton’s finest bowling performance in any Test.” Finally, there is the slip by the TMS scorer Bill Frindall, a venerable figure, who takes a teaspoon more white wine that is wise and falls down a stairway in the restaurant where we are all enjoying a night out at the expense of the sponsors npower. Sadly, one newspaper diarist sees fit to describe Bill’s fall from grace in graphic detail and so raises the wrath of the TMS crew, universal admirers of the long-serving Frindall. Eventually though they cannot resist the fun and when a machine warms up nearby Jon Agnew asks: “What’s that noise, Bill? Is it your mechanical cocktail shaker?”
June 7: Among the crowd at the third Test is John Reid, the only remaining member of the 1949 New Zealand tour side who start their climb to fame by drawing all four Tests. Of course these are three-day Tests but what a tribute to their battling qualities that they contain that star-studded post-war England side.
June 8: Did I hear correctly? Did Geoff Boycott really spend a few hours this week umpiring in a match at Leeds University? Well, it is the alma mater of his daughter. “I belong to the Dickie Bird school of umpires,” he says. “I go ‘that’s not out, I can’t give that out young man, you would not like to be given out to that ball now would you?’” Also in his recent cricket experience, a day or two near one of his many homes, presenting men of the match awards at matches in the fifth division of the World Cup. And why not? It’s been a happier time for Geoffrey than for Mark Nicholas, hit on the head by a free-flying ball while introducing the Channel Five cricket highlights from Trent Bridge. Mark always has the tactful answer. “Hurt?” he says to those kind enough to inquire about his injury. “Not at all. In my time we did not always have helmets, you know.”
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